No Bae Just Out Here Hustling: The Single Life
By: J. A. Buie
Is it just me or does it seem like lately, everytime you log into any of your social media accounts, someone on your timeline or feed is in a new relationship, getting engaged or having a baby (and not at all in that exact order these days, but you get my drift). But no seriously, it’s like every single hashtag you see under a picture is along the lines of“#OutWithBae, #LoveMeSomeBae, #DateNightWithBae, #LookWhatBaeBoughtMe, blah blah blah blah!! Okay, you have a Bae, we get it!! (insert eye rolling emoji here) Kudos to you and all the other couples on social media flaunting their FLAWED relationship for the world to envy. Yes! I said flawed! Don’t act like I’m the only one who checks both parties pages to validate the legit-ness of the relationship. (Yes, legit-ness is a word. You’re welcome.) Because we all know a relationship’s sole validation is based on the amount of pictures posted to their social media pages (hence, le sigh). And don’t let there be more pictures on her page than on his page. Giiiiiiirrrrrlllll!! (insert side eye emoji here) But….I digress. That conversation my dear is for a different blog, a different day.
The question is, what is in the water that everyone seems to be drinking these days that has them booed up and feeling all lovey-dovey-holy-matrimony-til-death-do-us-part-ish? And where can one find this water? (I’m asking for a friend). Yes, being single has its drawbacks, but it also has its perks. There’s no one leaving the toilet seat up for you to fall into in the middle of the night when you're sleep walking to the bathroom, and there's no one drinking or eating the last of ANYTHING out of the refrigerator without replacing it! Seems legit right? However, movie and dinner dates are a little less fun for just a party of one. All is not completely lost though my Single Sisters, and I beg of you to not give up, just because it seems to be a trend these days to be in love. Don’t just settle for any relationship just to be able to say that you are in a relationship. Relationships are hard work and take a lot of your time and energy. In order to have a healthy long lasting relationship, it takes two people willing to do the work, communicate and commit. When you’re single, the only person you are committed to is you. Which gives you more time to focus on yourself and to explore and find ways to improve about certain things about yourself. Now don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship is great when it’s good, and although no relationship is perfect, you want one that is worth it. A sad misconception about being single is that you are lonely. Being alone does not make you lonely. You still have family and friends, and you can still have a life. When the time is right for you to be in a relationship, you’ll know it. When the good Lord up above decides that he’s ready to bless you with your Idris-Elba-Knight-and-Shining-Armor, you will be good and ready because of the time spent getting to know yourself better.
So what do you do until Bae finds you? Just focus on you. Work on your career and building your empire. Buy that townhome, condo or house that you’ve been working hard and saving for. Travel and see the world. Take that job or fellowship overseas and embrace a new culture. Life is too short to spend time waiting on a Bae to live out your dreams and accomplish your goals. They’re YOUR dreams and YOUR goals and they only require YOU to attain them. You and Bae will have other dreams to bring to life together and plenty of time to live out your #BaeGoals when he arrives. But, in the meantime and in between time, don’t worry about a Bae, just focus on your HUSTLE. When the time is right, your Bae will come.
To keep up with more writing by J.A. Buie follow her on Instagram & Facebook @InkedbyJess